The Invisible Woman

Disclaimer: This post is coming from the viewpoint of a stay-at-home mother. In no way do I intend to undermine or devalue working mothers. To be perfectly frank, I could not do your job. I would fail miserably. And one day when I do return to teaching, I am fully aware that I will no longer be able to do the job I do now at 100%.

Having said that: Do you, as a stay-at-home-mother, ever feel like your hard work goes un-noticed? Unappreciated?? Under-valued??? Sometimes I think that our work isn't viewed as "as" important because it doesn't garner an actual paycheck. What I want to say is this: I work hard every day to keep a clean home, prepare healthy meals, spend quality & quantity time with my daughter, try to be a good wife, pay bills, do the shopping, and just generally manage the day-to-day affairs of my family. It's my job. A job I cherish, value, and take very seriously. I was no more passionate about my job as a teacher before I had a family. I feel the same sense of responsibility and dedication as I did when I received a paycheck, actually more so.

Let me be perfectly clear: I love my job. I feel incredibly blessed and lucky that we could afford for me to stay home these past 5 years or so with Katelyn. It's an honor; no, it's my absolute privelege to be her mother. I wouldn't change a thing. I know that I'm blessed. But, sometimes I wonder if my family notices how hard I really do work. That I never get a day off. A sick day-what's that??? Do they appreciate that they always have clean clothes and a clean bed to sleep in? How about the meals I so carefully plan, shop for, and cook every day? How about the endless number of hours vacumming, dusting, and cleaning bathrooms?

Is it possible for them to understand my irritation when a mess occurs after I just mopped the floor or cleaned a bathroom? Not that I'm angry. Believe me, you can't be a parent if you can't accept accidents & messes(Seriously! It's in the job description). But I equate my angst to going to a job with Mike and messing up a forklift he just spent the whole day repairing. It's frustrating. It's like doing a job that will never be completed or like the movie "Groundhog Day" --everyday you wake up and it's the same things all over again.(o.k., so I stole that from J.P.-but he's right, sorry dude!)

I also don't want you to think I'm complaining or on a pity-pot. I'm really not. It's not like I don't have time for myself. My husband has been great about that. He may not cook or clean, but he is a completely hands-on dad who loves spending time with his little girl. Every time he plays with her or reads to her or takes her out to do yardwork, I get a little break. He's thrilled that I've made good friends in our neighborhood and that I get to have a moms-night-out once a month. Besides he gets to take his little girl on a daddy-date and I know they love their special time together too. I very much appreciate that Mike recognizes that moms need a break too. AND I really appreciate that even after a hard day, when he's hurting & tired, that he comes home and ALWAYS has time to spend with Katie so I can prepare dinner or whatever. Thank you honey.

Several months ago, I spent a whole Saturday cleaning our home top to bottom. I was literally exhausted by the end of the day. My back hurt so bad, I could barely move. After taking a shower, I found the note pictured above on the bathroom vanity. I can't tell you what that note meant to me then and still means to me every time I read it. I keep it on the mirror in my bedroom so I'm sure to read it every day. I don't need a parade in my honor or flowers, or anything else. Just a little piece of paper that says we recognize that you work hard, that you do it for us, thank you. That little piece of paper means the world to me. In case you had difficulty viewing it, it reads:

MOM,

THE HOUSE LOOKS NICE
YOU WORKED HARD. LOVE

KATIE & Daddy

That's my paycheck, my 401K, my every day is Mother's Day. It really does mean that much to me that my family values what I do for them. That they recognize I take pride in my work too. I love you both. Thank you.