~PROOF~

About 3 weeks ago my friend Shannon's house burned to the ground. I thank GOD every day that Shannon, her husband, their two little girls, & the family pet made it out unharmed. And even though I know how grateful Shannon is to have her family alive and healthy, she is understandably beside herself at the loss of all their personal belongings: their clothes, furniture, the fire started in the garage so both cars were destroyed, toys, books, food, toiletries, and the list goes on. But what I keep thinking about over and over are their family photos, their trinkets, those little things that are unique to your family, your home. But especially the photos as they are ultimately the one thing that can not be replaced. Furniture, yes. Cars, yes. And even the home itself can be rebuilt-maybe better than before. But not your pictures-they are gone forever.

I told my friend, Tera, about the fire shortly after it happened. And of course we agreed that the safety of our family would be first & foremost in our minds-(I really don't think I should even have to state that.) But then Tera & I also agreed that above all else we would grieve the loss of our photographs, our treasured memories of our children as they've grown & changed through the years. Tera pointed out what a good idea it is to have all our photographs downloaded onto our computers, so if the worse happened you could grab your computer & still have your pictures. Assuming in the panic and hysteria of a fire that you'd even think to do so. I have my doubts about that.

However, these events led me to think about something else as well. Why do I bother to take so many pictures? Why then do I take the time to share these pictures along with my thoughts about our lives on this blog even? What is it about writing this blog that I find so compelling? And when it hit me the answer itself was just as compelling-PROOF!!! Proof of what? Proof that I lived. Proof that I have a little girl who has enriched my life beyond measure. Proof of all the things we did together & I want those memories preserved. PROOF!!

When I was a little girl I loved to read The Little House on the Prairie autobiographical series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Ms. Wilder held me captive by her description of life in her day. If you think about it, those books were kind of like her blog. I mean after all what is a blog if not a journal of events. The only two differences being that I do it on a computer-thank GOD-because I was never any good at hand-written journaling. And secondly that I can post the pictures to go along with my journal entry.

And while I would never suggest that I have comparable writing skills to Laura Ingalls Wilder, I think our overall purposes for writing/blogging about our lives are fundamentally the same: preservation, connection, organization, and enjoyment.

PRESERVATION: I need to preserve my memories because as I get older I'm getting more forgetful. It pains me beyond belief that I can't remember Katelyn as a small baby. Sure I have fleeting memories, but if I had blogged back then I would have so much more. As it is now I look at the photographs of my baby girl & tears flood my eyes. I accept that those days are gone forever & I will never get them back. I only wish I had preserved my thoughts to go along with the pictures. On a funnier note, Katelyn will never be able to come to me some day & say she had a boring childhood. Because I have PROOF to the contrary. I am in the process of turning my blog into a book & so if she should ever dare to suggest a boring childhood, I will have proof of the many experiences I exposed her to.

CONNECTION: To be honest, I am not motivated to write my blog because someone else might read it or even choose to leave a comment. It's nice when it happens, though. When my dad was still working, he had a computer in his office & read my blog faithfully. He told me once that his co-workers always knew when he was reading my blog because they could hear the music from my blog's playlist-most likely set on "Clair de Lune", a favorite of dad's. It made me feel so good to know that my dad took an interest-I felt connected to him even if we didn't speak on the phone for weeks. Now that he's retired, he doesn't have a computer & I miss his presence on my blog. I hope he gets a PC soon!!

As women, we need to feel connected to other women. I honestly don't think men have the same urgency. If I were to ask Mike if he talks to his male friends about personal stuff he'd say, "If I want to talk to someone about something personal, I'll talk to you." But I NEED my girlfriends-I need to share my life with them, and this blog has been a wonderful way to stay connected to them. It feels great to know that even though most of my friends don't blog, they still take the time to read mine. And when we do connect by phone or Facebook or email & they mention "hey I was reading your blog the other day..." I love that!!--Even though we're miles apart, they know what's going on in my life. And I can't forget to mention the connection I feel to my friend Tera. Not only did Tera get me started with blogging, she does post a comment on almost every blog I write. And I love to read her blog as well. It is a comfort to know that we are on this journey together, & no matter where we end up in this life, our blogs will always keep us connected.

ORGANIZATION: I keep saying I'm going to dedicate more time to catching up on my scrapbooking. But scrapbooking requires SO much time, money, & organization. I feel like my blog keeps me organized too. I keep a running list of the topics/events I need to blog about, and it doesn't take nearly the same amount of time to blog as it does to scrapbook. And aside from the nominal cost of publishing my book when that happens, and possibly a little electricity, it doesn't cost anything to blog either. I am a perpetual list-maker, quite anal about it actually. My blog, if you will, is simply an organized list of the day-to-day happenings in our life.

ENJOYMENT: Honestly, I wouldn't blog at all if I didn't enjoy it. Blogging has become a hobby just like reading, Facebook, music, scrapbooking or any other routine activity I take part in. I look forward to stolen moments when Katelyn is otherwise occupied, & I can lose myself in my own thoughts. I am excited about publishing my blog so that my book can be passed on to Katelyn and generations to follow--no different in my view than a hand-written journal, family genealogy, or the books that Laura Ingall's Wilder wrote. While my life may not seem as exciting as walking across the country next to a covered wagon, it is my history and perhaps someday my child, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren may find it interesting.

Interestingly enough, I am not the only one who enjoys my blog. Katelyn & Mike do too. Whenever something significant happens, Katelyn will say, "You're going to blog about that, huh mommy?" She's come to expect it & I'm pretty sure she enjoys being the star attraction for the majority of my posts!! And I think Mike is a bit proud that I write about our lives, it's certainly not something he would enjoy doing.

So in the end what is this blogging stuff really all about? PROOF. Proof that I lived, that I loved, that my life, albeit insignificant to most, was a blessing to me. PROOF!!
~Shelly Edwards Rajewich