My Apologies...

to my dear husband. I'm pretty sure Mike feels like I don't pay enough attention to him. That when he comes home from work, I'm not eager to listen with bated breath to everything he has to say about his day. Well, it's true-I'm guilty as charged! BUT I think I have a pretty good excuse: our daughter, whom I've recently nicknamed "THE INQUIZATOR"! You see, my dear spouse, while you're off at work all day doing whatever it is you do, I'm at home answering all of your daughters questions at the same time I'm also trying to clean the house, cook the meals, drive, do the shopping etc. Just so you don't think I'm exaggerating, I thought I'd record a little sampling of some(not all, by any means) of her questions for just one day:

Katelyn: "Mommy, when will you be medium?"
Me: "Do you mean when will I be done with Weight Watchers?"
K: "Yeah."
Me: "I don't know, honey, it takes a long time to lose weight."
K: "Is everyone's mommy on Weight Watcher's?"
Me: "No, but I bet it seems that way, huh?"
K: "Whose mommy isn't on WW?"
Me: "Um, Rebecca & Miriam's mom isn't."
K: "That's because she's not medium, huh, she's just small."
Me: "Right."


Katelyn: "Momma, am I 4 3/4 still?"
Me: "No, you're actually older than that now. You'll be 5 next month."
K: "So what am I now?"
Me: "I don't know, honey, mommy's not that good at math. Ask daddy when he gets home."
K: "Why aren't you that good at math?"
Me: "I'm just not. Everyone has different things they're good at. I'm better at reading & writing than math."
K: "What am I better at?"
Me: "You're good at both reading and math."
K: "Oh. But you said I have to be better at reading or math."
Me: "No I just said some people are better at one or the other."
K: "Oh.(pauses) That doesn't make any sense."


Katelyn: "Where else has mountains?" (nice grammar)
Me: "You mean like what other states have mountains?"
K: "Yeah."
Me: "Well, Wyoming, Montana"... and I list a few more.
K: "Are you sure they have mountains too?"
Me: "Yes, Katelyn, I'm sure. Here let's look at the map on the table."
K: "Hey, mom, I guess you were right afterall!"
Fancy that!!!


Katelyn: "Momma, can I pretend to be a snake?"
Me: "Sure, honey, you can pretend to be anything you want. It's called using your imagination and you don't have to ask me first, you can just pretend to be anything you want.
K: "Oh, O.K."
~10 minutes later~
K: "Hey, mom, can I pretend to be a turtle?"
Me: "Yes Katelyn."


Katelyn: "Mommy, when will I get a new pair of sandals?"
Me: "When those are all worn out."
K: "What's all worn out?"
Me: "You know, when they don't look nice anymore, or they get torn or something."
K: "Oh. But WHEN will they be all worn out?"
Me: "I don't know, Katelyn, it will happen when it happens."


Katelyn: "Mommy, when will I be big like you?"
Me: "Do you mean grown up?"
K: "Yeah."
Me: "When you finish your education and have a good job."
K: "But where will I live?"
Me: "Well, maybe in an apt. or a house. We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
K: (starting to get upset) "But, mommy, I'll miss you when I'm big."
Me: "Honey, you don't have to worry about that now. You have many years to go before you'll be all grown up. Besides, when you are grown up, you'll want to live in your own place."
K: "You mean not with you and daddy? Never!"
Me: "O.K., well like I said we'll cross that bridge when we get there."


Katelyn: "Mommy, what's a bigger number than 11?"
Me: "12."
K: "Well, what's a bigger number than 12?"
Me: "I see where this is going and I don't feel like playing right now. Besides you already know the answers anyway."


Like I said just a sampling. This goes on pretty much the whole day. But there's more. Like every time we leave the house to drive somewhere, she asks me if I know the way. Doesn't matter that we go to the library or swim lessons every week, she still has to ask me if I'm sure we're going the right way. Or the countless number of times during the day when I have to repeat myself to get her attention because she's in a zone and has blocked me out. I can be a foot away from her, and she acts like she can't hear me at all. Or how about all the questions she asks me during the day that she already know the answers to-I guess she's just testing me in case something might have changed?? Or how about her constant LOUD off-key humming??? Oh well, so I won't be anyone's nomination for mother of the year!!!

It's exhausting. That's all I can say. So when you come home from work and want me to listen to stuff about work, I'm sorry but my brain is fried! I don't care what happened at Forward Air, and no I don't want to guess who called you today or how much a new battery will cost. I don't want to hear about Anthony(an employee) or his fiancee or their wedding. I'm not interested in discussing the price of gasoline, the President or any other political stuff, the weather, or your take on the recession. I'm sorry, I just don't have any patience left to talk anymore about anything. I just want to make dinner and be quiet for a little while.

Admittedly, I haven't read our book club's book about "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman yet. But I've been thinking a lot about it. If there's a love language for men that goes something like this, I think I have Mike pegged: "I just want her to hang on my every word with excitement and anticipation. I want her to laugh at my witty banter like it's the funniest stuff she's heard all day. I want her to be waiting eagerly at home for my arrival, so I can tell her every detail about my day, and have her hanging on every word." All I can say is if I'm right, then we're screwed!!!

By the way, I love you both with all my heart!